6 MAGIC URBAN LEGENDS
(THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE)
People are stupid.
That is all.
WIZARDS DESIGNS CARDS TO BE BANNED
Yep. All card bannings are planned down to the minutest detail.
With the recent high-profile card bannings, and potentially more to come, new players could be forgiven in thinking that this is an unusual, amount of slashing and burning, but it's not all that weird. Mirrodin gave us 7 banned cards, and the Urza Block gave us the most tournament headaches (including the first emergency banning)
Combo Winter was so named because decks just weren’t interactive. You sat down and hoped your deck just won before the opponent's deck just won. A true Goldfish environment. It did the most damage to the tournament scene, and cards were quickly removed from the tournament pool in order to try and stabilise things. More cards were banned from Urza Block than any other block in Magic's history.
Of course, with the bannings, people had to scramble to purchase the singles for their new decks. This both increased sales for retailers, as well as caused more packs to be opened.
This resulted in a “New Coke” conspiracy, that WotC deliberately printed overpowered cards to make up for flagging sales, with the plan to just ban the cards after a month or so. By way of proof, they offer the flavour text from Tolarian Academy.
Going to call BS on this one. Planning this would be a nightmare, and like it or not, WotC are mostly not complete bastards. (I have friends that have stories, but those will remain in the confidence with which they were told.)
WIZARDS DELIBERATELY MESSED WITH CARD RARITIES
Exodus (1998) gave us expansion symbols with the card rarities. Before that, we had to know by remembering with our puny brains. With the internet not being terribly common with people, and no real portable version (Oracle started out as a printed document in a large binder), card rarity was almost always in question.
Some sets didn’t have rare cards (Fallen Empires, Homelands), and some of the earlier expansions didn’t have a uniform order for the in-pack cards, so it was difficult to see which was the rare. Dual Lands were often thought of as uncommon because why would a land be a rare?
History reveals to us that the Alpha expansion was not only missing two cards (Volcanic Island and COP: Black), but it also had a Basic Island in the rare slot. Conspiracy theorists will have us believe that this was a deliberate attempt to throw off collectors.
Because throwing off collectors...somehow makes money for WotC? Not sure I understand the logic. But I know how cards are made, and I know how printing is done, and I know that stupid happens. I
’ll call this BS with the simple observation that there are about fifty things that they could have done that was more efficient than putting an Island in the rare slot.
NONBASIC LANDS ARE NAMED AFTER FEMALE BODY PARTS
Except the towers. Obviously.
It’s been a longtime rumour that WotC tweaks the names of non-basic lands so they sound like a euphemism for a specific female body part. This is as stupid as it is hilarious.
But now you can’t unsee it. Sorry about that.
The existence of Throat Wolf goes all the way back to the early days of online Magic when it was first mentioned on Usenet. Back in those days, people weren’t used to having all of the information at all times, so the mere mention of a card called Throat Wolf drove people out of their minds.
Discussion ensued on what Throat Wolf could possibly be. It had Double First Strike (or Firstest Strike), it was a 2/2 or a 3/3, it could attack on your opponent’s turn (which could happen in some other card games like L5R so it wasn’t that weird).
It was mostly used to mess with newer players, but Throat Wolf still exists in the minds of some that insist it was a real card that was killed or renamed after it was leaked.
InQuest was one of three major magazines that dealt primarily with Magic. InQuest often took a more comical route, figuring out very quickly that you don’t have to have substantive content if you just put in a few lame jokes and observations.
In February 1997, InQuest published a huge preview of the fabled sixth colour of Magic: Purple. The Basic lands were Portal (not to be confused with the beginner expansion), the Purple main keyword was Anchor (similar to Soulbond), and the cards all looked terrible since decent photoshop skills weren’t all that common in previous centuries.
However, the writeup looked so good that people were fooled for many, many years. Even now, the rumour persists. Purple Magic was InQuest’s finest moment. They fed the public’s thirst for new information, and became the bane of WotC’s Customer Service for the next ten years.
Can’t call BS on this one since the article was real, but the article had BS, so...is Meta BS a thing?
A MAGIC MOVIE HAS ALREADY BEEN FILMED
Since the turn of the century, people have been talking about a Magic movie, because that’s how movies work. You have a popular thing, you sell the rights, and somebody then has to figure out how to make a movie out of it. That’s how we got Battleship, starring Rihanna.
It’s not a great system.
WotC has been suitably guarded about letting their flagship game out into the wild world of Hollywood. Partially since a Magic movie would have been terrible without Planeswalker characters.
The main problem with a Magic movie was that there wasn’t any real story behind the game. There was an allusion to a story with the Artificer’s War, but this was retconned later. The flavour of Antiquities was just that. A vague allusion to a backstory, but nothing workable.
The Weatherlight Saga was a pretty good attempt at getting a series of recognisable characters into Magic, and this was needed to get a workable film off the ground, but WotC got cold feet after the tepid response for the Dungeons and Dragons film, and they saw that a cheap copy of the Lord of the Rings formula wouldn’t work unless they were willing to gamble.
Turns out they weren’t. Later, a proposed Magic miniseries was shelved, and WotC opted to sit on their main IP for a few years despite Uwe Boll’s attempt to get his hands on Magic.
This all sounds cool until you hear that there was already a Magic movie filmed. Similar to Roger Corman’s Fantastic Four (which is probably better than Fant4stic, in that it could hardly be worse), game store nerds on message forums insisted that a small-time producer had the rights for a short time, and finished the film very quickly before they were taken away.
So why was the movie ever released? Why make a film without doing that very thing that makes your money back? Obviously, spite. WotC realised that if they made a big-budget film, this producer could release *his* version before WotC’s, and make a bunch of money off of the back of the newer film’s advertising budget.
Obviously this is complete BS. Even if it were true, no company in their right mind would sit on a potential billion-dollar franchise to screw over a guy that might on his best day make $100,000 that he didn’t deserve. Plus they have lawyers
Magic needed a team of Planeswalkers, and with the Gatewatch, they have that team. Marvel and DC are dominating the cinema, so you can expect that WotC’s effort will soon be released.
It’s going to be terrible, and we’re all going to watch the shit out of it.
In the meantime, here's this